Homeschooling When They're Sick

I can handle interruptions – phone calls, emails that need a response, last minute errands. We rearrange things, double-up on work, let projects slide or cut things out.

I can handle vacations – we can choose to take some things with us, or leave it all home.

If the youngest is our interruption because he’s just being ornery I know to give him a nap. If I’m feeling sick I can still direct their efforts. But when the kids are sick I struggle a bit.

Sickness is a strange interruption when you school at home. I keep finding myself comparing our experience to other students’ experience. “What would a public school mom do?” runs through my head. If my children were enrolled somewhere and they came down with a sore throat and a bit of a cough, they’d be staying home… potentially for days. This is not because they are incapable of thinking through ideas but because they are contagious. They stay home for the benefit of the other children rather than for their own benefit. And then have all the make up work on top of it.

However, my children don’t have to go anywhere to learn and their germs are already shared among their “classmates.” So, I struggle with the voices that want to call me “bad mom” when I still persuade them to get some things done.

Granted, if they are feverish and lethargic I don’t assign them anything but rest. But those minor symptoms, that don’t cloud their vision or give them aches, don’t have to get in the way of us making the best use of our time. At least not completely.

I find myself striking a bargain with “the voices.” I watch the kids for signs of coherency and then I direct them toward getting the big stuff done (our read aloud, math, our unit study thought and something language-y) and let the other stuff slide. Even if they are well enough to play with their hot wheels tracks for two hours after breakfast, even if they are well enough to wrestle I still ease up. I’m not certain it’s the best way to handle sick days. I want the kids to know that I care and that I’m not ignoring their discomfort but I also want my lesson plans to speak to me in the morning.

Do you give yourself permission to take the day off? Do you have a hybrid day? Do you log on to the internet learning sites? What do you do when your kids are mildly sick?

Homeschooling When it Sucks

I've been doing this for eight years. In case no one ever told you, I'm going to tell you now:

There will be days...

• when the children wiggle non-stop and you can't get their attention without use of force.
• when the desire to organize your tax receipts, clean your tile grout, or finally get to that dentist appointment will seem far more enjoyable than schooling your kids.
• when your children will literally scream at you, "You NEVER help me!!"
• when your children will not stop screaming at one another.
• when you completely agree that public school is really God's answer to ignorance.
• when the baby/toddler just won't nap.
• when other people's agendas will take over your day.
• when you literally CANNOT finish a sentence without correcting someone.
• when four math problems will take two hours.
• when you convince yourself that they can still think clearly with a fever of 101.
• when they just don't get it... for the fifth time.
• when they scowl at you.
  
• when they all ask for your help at once....continually.
• when they refuse to talk to you at all.
• when they tap the dang pencil.
  
• when you discover what they've really been doing while they're supposed to be completing their computer-based curriculum.
• when your husband surpasses your skills in housekeeping, because SOMEONE has to get it done.
• when company asks if they can come in the middle of the school year.
  
• when you get an earful of someone's narrow opinion about your choice to homeschool.
• when you put them in the car for a field trip and they whine because they don't want to go.
• when your expectations are way toooo high.
  
• when your children cry.
• when you cry.
• when you say outloud, "I'm done."

It's not every day, but they do show up. When those days come, know that tomorrow is a new day and God can redeem anything.

Homeschooling When You're Distracted

Who among us doesn't have to deal with this?

Maybe you're waiting to hear about a medical test. Waiting for your oldest child to call you when they finish that road trip back to college. Worried about the stock market. Hoping to hear good news about your husband's job interview. Wishing you could just break away for the afternoon and work on a special project. Ever heard the phrase, "You're only as strong as your weakest link?" Well, getting the kids focused will only happen to the degree that you remain focused.

I think I've spent the past five years in a state of distraction. And over the next couple of months it will only increase. So what do we do? Here's my pattern:

1. Get something done. First move through the most important parts of the learning day (Math, reading and writing are my choices). If nothing else happens at least you covered the basic foundations.

2. Chunk it up more. If I think we need to accomplish 9 things today and I'm not in a productive state of mind then I will probably do all nine badly. If I think we need to accomplish two and then two and then two more, etc. then it feels possible. Taking breaks in between ideas or concepts or subject is fine.

3. Give in. If what's distracting me is going to keep me from being an effective teacher/parent, then I need to deal with the distraction as best as I can. I can work toward solving a problem that is distracting me or relieve some of anxiety by making a phone call to someone who will let me vent. Once I've given in to it a bit, I'll be able to focus more on what the children need to address for the day. It could mean not starting "school" until after lunch, but it is okay.

4. Put the kids first. There are certain things that weigh on our minds that we can't do a darn thing about. Kids are a perfect way to get your mind off something and they would love to have your complete attention. Let them do something out of the ordinary and call it school. Today I just might pull out the watercolors and we'll all paint. Yesterday we made Chinese food together for our dinner (because we're studying China) and it counted as part of our day. The fact that they were helping me made me more alert, took my mind of other things and made the experience of cooking a meal for the family much more enjoyable.

Homeschooling comes with a lot of freedoms, but it also comes with a lot of distractions. (You all know that you don't have to answer the phone when it rings, right?) Holding myself accountable is one of the greatest challenges I face. Some days more than others. Now, what do we have left to do today....?

Homeschooling When It's Summer

I saw a friend the other day who schools all summer long and their family takes off all of November and December. I really, really like that idea. I’m sure the holidays are slower and cozier and more family-oriented that way. But all of me wants to be off when the sun is shining. If it’s raining and cold outside, I’d rather be inside doing other things… like learning and creating things.

That’s not to say that summer isn’t a GREAT time for learning because it is. I like to think that we just learn in different ways in the summer. For instance, the library summer reading program just began on Friday. One of my kids has already read for nine hours. The other for four. That reading time is priceless for them in so many ways.

The boys began swim lessons today. Next week they will do a sport/VBS camp at a friend’s church. Other weeks the boys are signed up for basketball, rock climbing and even Tae Kwon Do on Fridays. These are learning opportunities that aren’t offered during the day in a typical school year. So, we soak them up in the summer and they think they are just having fun.

So, perhaps we actually do “school” year-round. But the point of this endeavor is not to compartmentalize our education into seasons, but to learn how to learn every day of the year. For us, home schooling doesn’t really stop in the summer -- it just looks different.

Homeschooling When You're Moving

I think you all know the answer to this one. How do you continue the studies when you're moving? Answer: You don't. This morning I had the kids wrap up a lapbook about plants and agriculture, practice their reading, and do their math and handwriting. That was it. After that I was all about changing the utilities, packing up the master bedroom and running errands.

So, the plan is to stop school for now and begin again next Wednesday. Taking a week off, especially a split week is great for all of us. We can do two short weeks at the front and back, and then get back in the full swing of things once we're out of all the boxes...and we find all the stuff.

But there does need to be a balance between what comes next and what is happening right now. When the kids don't have structure they get difficult. And I tend to zone in on packing so much that I ignore them and their squabbles, which are really cries for attention. So, as I'm packing this time I will figure out what I need to get done and then give them times when I will stop and do something with them: play cards, read aloud from our latest book and take a walk if the weather is good. They appreciate knowing they won't be bored all day as they watch their toy supply disappear and I appreciate the break from packing and enjoying my kids even if it's only for 20 or 30 minutes at a time. Of course, at the end we usually call on PBS and Discovery Channel quite a bit too. Right now I told them we'd stop and run to a few places at 3:00...which is just about now.

So, I'm off to make good on my promise.

Homeschooling When You're Sad

I don't know if it's just my kids, but they don't pick up on emotional signals very well. Wouldn't it be great if they could just adjust their behavior to fit my mood? It seems on those days when I don't just want them to mellow out, but I NEED them to mellow out, that they are louder and more out of sorts than normal.

Several years ago now, we went through a time of great upheaval. We were shoved out of a place that we had ministered to for four years and I remember crying during many of our everyday activities...as I made lunch, played with blocks, took walks, and even did school. I had just begun Kindergarten with my oldest son when our world came crashing down. There was no way to explain what was going on to someone so young. And being so excited to do these learning activities with Mama everyday, I couldn't just stop everything and mourn. So, we continued on.

Grief is such a natural part of life and we need to be able to deal with it appropriately, but does that mean we put school aside or push through? Of course, everyone will handle it differently. If the kids and I are all mourning together, then I think it would be appropriate to put things aside and listen and breathe however it seems most appropriate for a time. But when I'm mourning on my own and I can't really explain to them the depth of my loss, then I need to push through and just grieve quietly. Maybe others would handle it differently.

It's certainly not easy but in one sense continuing to work is lifegiving. When my grandmother died while I was in college I went back to work after a day or two just to keep my brain from turning to mush. Now my work is here in my home with me and I really can't not do it. They are so full of potential and purpose. Investing in them reminds me that not all is lost. And with all the quirky things they do, I'm sure they'll give me some reasons to smile. It takes a concerted effort to turn my mind from one thing to another, but for a few hours I will do my best. For them, I will do my best. So, today I'm diving in and hoping that they simply don't notice my heavy, frequent sighs.