Review: Mama's Got a Fake I.D.

We had a fantastic 2009. DH finally… finally… saw God move and bring him to a place of ministry that is a perfect fit for him. And when God did that for DH, he also did it for me. You see, I love the church as much as my husband does. Did you hear that? I long to love on her people, serve them, walk alongside them, teach them and see them grow as much as he does. But because I was born in the skin I’m in and because of the tradition I grew up in, I went 32 years before I thought a woman could do those things and still be hanging out in God’s will.

Skipping the long story of all that.

After moving 1300 miles to do this thing that God finally gave us a green light to do, I found myself in a bit of an identity crisis. Because when all was said and done and the boxes were unpacked, dh was finding his groove, and we’d plugged into various places, I still found myself to be the same thing I was when this all started… a homeschooling mom.

Wait! What happened to “becoming myself?” Is this what “myself” looks like? I’ve been doing this for 8 years. Through the entire ordeal of wandering through life, I have been this identity to the core. When it comes to creating learning objectives for my boys, I can fly by the seat of my pants flawlessly. “Well-oiled” describes my prep and planning exactly. I can homeschool in my sleep.

The thing is, I prepped for something more. I’ve prayed for something more. I am one of those pastor’s wives that shares her husband’s ministry 90% (because I don’t know anything about his private counseling times). But I’m not doing the thing that I want to be doing… not even 10%.

Thus, my identity crisis. It’s not been a negative experience. It’s been a time of soul searching and that has been good. It’s been a time of figuring out who God created me to be from the beginning, not just since I had these three perfect little men.

Caryn Dahlstrand Rivadeneira’s book Mama’s Got a Fake I.D. is the plumb line that helped me find my balance. I’ve always known I could be more than just a homeschooling mom but because the hs’ing world really does teach us to forsake everything save our children I didn’t want to rock the boat. (I already wasn’t your typical home educator.) Now, I’m focused on meeting the needs of my family, rather than just my children. In this new equation I get to be included! It may mean looking into other educational options. That's okay. I'm still open to God's best for my family.

“All of us, at one time or another, beat ourselves up because we don’t match some stereotype – instead of focusing on the gifts God gave us to raise our kids as he wants them raised.” I feel that as a home educator I have been using those gifts, but I’ve also let other gifts go unpracticed -- like the one I spent 5 years and all my money to major on in college...and the ones I fostered in 5 years of seminary. I’m not satisfied to let it go anymore. Caryn’s book gave me permission to be who I am, but be it fully. That’s freeing stuff. “Giving up our identities isn’t doing anything for our kids. In fact it does them a disservice.”

Mamas, go buy this. Read it. Chew on it. And let your frustration turn a corner to feed your own personhood and perspective.

Review: The Little Pilgrim's Progress

We just finished a unit that was infused with the character of God. The read aloud I chose was The Little Pilgrim's Progress by Helen L. Taylor. It's my understanding that she took the original work by John Bunyan and wrote it for children. I can't compare it to the original because I've never read it, but this book is beautifully written, has extremely short chapters, and is filled with line drawings to give the kids a visual. It's really a nice piece of work.

But I ditched it.

We got through Christian's story and stopped before Christiana's story due to allegorical issues -- ideas that are quite adverse to the faith I'm instilling in my boys:

1. Vanity Fair. Christian leaves this horrible experience with NO sign of grief, no visible show of change as a result of what he experienced. If it were me, my very next chapter would have been about how Christian threw himself upon the ground at the outskirts of the city and mourned for Vanity Fair, eating the grass and pouring dirt over his head. Does one really witness martyrdom and then brush it off?

2. Ignorance. As is true for practically everyone met along the way, Ignorance is greeted coldly by Christian and his companion, held at arms length and essentially written off because his journey looks differently than theirs does. They engage in a debate and decide that he is not worth waiting for. I find myself actually holding Christian responsible for the wicked end that Ignorance meets. If he had invested in him, shown him some compassion, asked more probing questions, walked beside him... If little Christian were taking seriously his call to be salt and light to the world wouldn't Ignorance be one of his most interesting and fulfilling relationships? Oh, that's right -- he never is called to be salt and light. It is evident that his only calling is to the Celestial City. Selfish tunnel vision fills this book and compassion for others is non-existent.

3. The Shining One. [The Christ Figure] And I quote, "But although the King had sent His servant to seek for the lost children and to bring them back into the right path, He was not pleased with them, and He had commanded the Shining One to punish them for their foolishness." Oh, there's more..."I shall be obliged to punish you, because you have now been pilgrims for a long time, and you would not have lost your way if you had done as the Shepherds told you." And then he beats them with a whip. No joke. Jesus comes down and beats his servants with a whip. What Bible is this from? [Now you could say that the Shining One is an angel, but there's too many similarities to The Angel of the Lord for me to agree.]

4. The Journey. The point of the journey is to get to the Celestial City [Heaven]. And that's IT. There is no desire to transform the lives of people around them. The only people they seem to be interested in influencing are those whom they chose to leave behind at home. There is no care for any other person's pain or sense of loss regarding their direction in life. No counseling, no healing of any kind. It's all about their own, individual journey. Anyone who seems to be a hindrance is left behind and truly forgotten. Please, don't let me teach my boys to be this kind of Christian.

5. The Celestial City. To Christian, Heaven is the end, the point, the goal of life. It seems that getting to the place of Heaven is even more important than being in the presence of the King who loves him. Oh, for many years, I thought this too. But God is at work to rescue and redeem all of creation on our behalf through the work of Jesus Christ. This whole journey is NOT just about Heaven. It's about life now, transforming, redeeming, communing, blessing and leading. It's also about a new heaven and a new earth later. Heaven is not the end-all of life after death. There is much more to come after that.

So, while this old classic has a place, it won't be in the hearts of my guys.

5th Grade Report

I had a hard time deciding last year if we could really afford to buy IEW's writing program. I was looking at buying the whole ball of wax so it was a bit pricey.

But now, at the end of our year, I think it was the best purchase we've made yet. My son who hates to write just finished a 3+ page report on the life of John F. Kennedy. And its GOOD.

The report has been about a three month project (with about four weeks off in the middle while we studied space) and there was only minimal whining on his part.

IEW makes the writing process so easy for him to follow. It helps him understand how NOT to plagiarize, the coolness of going back to edit and tweak, and it gives him the skills and confidence to produce solid, clear writing. I bought the DVD set so Mr. Pudewa teaches him the skills rather than me trying to do it myself. He's a much more patient teacher than I am (of course his class is much less ADD than mine).

My son wrote a report. I'm absolutely thrilled.

4 Cool Creativity Websites (for the kids AND you)

In these last days of the year I get in this creative mode. Partly because I don't have to get up and get the boys moving, partly because I know that the break from school will feel like it zoomed by (which it did) when Friday rolls around. In case anyone else feels like doing something creative with what remains of Christmas break, I thought you might enjoy following the links!

http://www.artprojectsforkids.org/

http://www.creativemompodcast.com/blog/

http://blog.craftzine.com/archive/green/

http://familyfun.go.com/

You Can’t Force Me, But You Can Make it Appealing.

Every summer I try to stretch my thinking by reading up on a different homeschool approach. “How many are there?” you ask. Several. Trust me.

This summer the approach is unschooling and I’m just about done with John Holt’s, Teach Your Own. I loved the beginning and then it dragged a bit in the middle because it was full of examples of how children learn without being formally “taught” (as in a lesson plan organized by an adult and imposed on a child regardless of his interest or readiness). Included were letters from people who spent the day baking, managing their business, caring for a convalescent father, or playing the violin all with their children nearby and as involved as they wanted to be. Though they took up a lot of book space, I found a lot of merit in the letters and experiences he shared.

Anyone who has ever taught anything knows that you can’t force people to learn. You can force them to perform, to memorize or to regurgitate, but you can’t force them to learn and transform. When we allow children to participate in our work, we help them feel the value of it and the value within themselves. We can give them the opportunity to learn as I do in my unit study approach, or we can seize the opportunities of the day to continue a thought, pursue a question, and be engrossed in discovery as unschooling does.

It’s all very appealing and seems quite free, but then I have to wonder how do you really get to everything…like the basics? It seems that most questions children have would be related to science or history or social studies, but how many times will they say, “Hey Mom, this book contains a really well-written paragraph. Could you show me how to structure one myself?” I think you could incorporate a lot of math into a day, but can you do it without gaps and in a sequence that makes sense like addition before multiplication? I’m not criticizing unschooling, I’m just left wondering how the writing and math happen without imposing an assignment of sorts on the child?

This is a great book to inspire you not only to encourage your children toward learning as they live, but to look into the whole package of what they are getting when they go off to school. According to Holt (and Farenga), school has very little to do with education let alone transformation. We give our kids better opportunities for both by teaching them as we are going. Good stuff to think about.