We went to Park Day with our group this afternoon. It was a huge turn out today with maybe 15 families. My Bigs like to go and play Nerf gun wars* with the other boys. In fact they were completely motivated to get all school work done by 11:30 so they could go.
*I've given up on trying to keep them away from play guns. While I don't buy them for the boys or let them have them at home, I realize that boys will turn everything into a gun and I'm just going to have to be okay with that.
J has some difficulty with separating reality from fiction. He can also be impulsive, explosive and commandeering. So, when he pushed another boy down I knew it was play in his mind but I also knew that the other boy did not consider it to be playful.
Then he ran and jumped on J and wrestled him to the ground and before my eyes they were going at it like two jocks in a schoolyard. Dang. That was my kid.
I broke it up and the other mom came running and we had the conversations that needed to be had with our sons. Apologies were made. No one was hurt and I don't think the boys have hard feelings for one another. But the embarrassment kind of sticks with everyone, you know?
So, I walked back to the circle-of-moms who inquired about the scene. I gave them the short version -- feeling foolish, feeling inadequate, feeling completely embarrassed and stupid. And although they didn't say the phrase word for word they did say:
- "That's okay."
- "That's what park day is for... to learn these lessons."
- "Are they okay?"
- "Are YOU okay?"
- "I have problems with anger outbursts too."
But for us it was the grounds by which we received more acceptance and grace. Moms journeying together: It's a good thing.
Thank you, Park Group. You totally blessed me today.