Wednesday, September 2

"You Are Accepted Here Just as You Are"

We say this phrase at our church every week, but I've never felt the benefits of this phrase more than I felt today. However, it didn't come from my church community. It came from my all-walks-of-life-and-we-like-it-that-way homeschool group.

We went to Park Day with our group this afternoon. It was a huge turn out today with maybe 15 families. My Bigs like to go and play Nerf gun wars* with the other boys. In fact they were completely motivated to get all school work done by 11:30 so they could go.

*I've given up on trying to keep them away from play guns. While I don't buy them for the boys or let them have them at home, I realize that boys will turn everything into a gun and I'm just going to have to be okay with that.

J has some difficulty with separating reality from fiction. He can also be impulsive, explosive and commandeering. So, when he pushed another boy down I knew it was play in his mind but I also knew that the other boy did not consider it to be playful.

Then he ran and jumped on J and wrestled him to the ground and before my eyes they were going at it like two jocks in a schoolyard. Dang. That was my kid.

I broke it up and the other mom came running and we had the conversations that needed to be had with our sons. Apologies were made. No one was hurt and I don't think the boys have hard feelings for one another. But the embarrassment kind of sticks with everyone, you know?

So, I walked back to the circle-of-moms who inquired about the scene. I gave them the short version -- feeling foolish, feeling inadequate, feeling completely embarrassed and stupid. And although they didn't say the phrase word for word they did say:
  • "That's okay."
  • "That's what park day is for... to learn these lessons."
  • "Are they okay?"
  • "Are YOU okay?"
  • "I have problems with anger outbursts too."
I have been a part of co-ops and Christian groups that have "discipline covenants." My son has been asked to leave two of these Christian groups because he broke the discipline covenant. I'm pretty sure that in any other place a fist-fight would have been grounds for removal.

But for us it was the grounds by which we received more acceptance and grace. Moms journeying together: It's a good thing.

Thank you, Park Group. You totally blessed me today.


  1. yep! that is a good thing. Its like a lovely spring shower that washes over you isn't it!

    We have a similar type of thing happening here with our co-op. And I often sit back and watch the relationships happening, and know that this is a good thing.

  2. We had a similar situation 2 years ago with Joel and Garrett. Joel tripped Garrett on accident and G turned around and hit Joel and then they started in on it. They avoided each other for awhile and now they are the best of friends.

    We have such a diverse group that we are constantly showing our kids the real world and people that live in it by our slice of life in the group.

    Sometimes that will cause misunderstandings, but in the end we all try to do the best with what we're given.


For two years I have had comments turned off as a discipline to write for myself. I'm seeing the other side. I just ask that you comment with grace.